Shopping, your lawn and the Married Man!

Hillary & Bill

Guys, think back to when you and your wife went house hunting?
Let me tell you a story about lawns, shopping, and marriage.

  Here in Pinellas County St. Augustine lawns are so out of control. One reason, my opinion, over watering, and (reclaimed water ) adds more nutrients, plus over fertilizing and wives.  Of course, it's the lawn spray programs fault (maybe) or is it just a catch 22? 

 So Guys, think back to when you and your wife went house hunting? If you're in that business, you think I am crazy? You say these lawns need fertilizing, pest control and weed control, every other month?  Why do I ask, is it all about money?  

 So the catch 22, OK, I will draw an (analogy) between makeup for women and lawn spray programs! ( You now think I am crazy)
 For years I have wondered why women wear makeup and most men don't?  Simple some smart business man years ago figured out how to make more money!   In the end, it's always about the money!

 Now the lawn spray industry has lots of money tied up in equipment, employees to pay, wife's, who want to go shopping for makeup and stuff!! eke.

Maybe it was the same guy who dreamed up how to convince women they needed all that stuff: cosmetics, nail salons,  beauty parlors, mud on the face, eke!  

But maybe the idea spraying lawns more often was not dreamed up by that guy or even a man?  Could it be retaliation by women?  Please follow my thinking, it’s Saturday morning, your wife wakes you early, honey she says, you know I have to go shopping, and I need your opinion on stuff!! So please mow the lawn.

So follow, what if it was a woman who dreamed up the greener lawn, not men, it's that poor guy who slaved all week!  He has to get out in the hot sun and push his trusty mower thru that lush lawn, that perfect weedless expanse surrounding your abode?  Just to take his wife shopping!

Guys, think back to when you and your wife went house hunting?  You didn’t know then about this shopping conspiracy, aka, the lush green lawn, did you?  

Yes, it has been said this massive plot/conspiracy was hatched in a women's restroom, hard to believe isn't it, not really.  Think back to the last time you were at a party or out to dinner with friends. Did your wife go to the restroom alone?  If you didn’t know that’s where it all happens; the conspiracy I mean.

Ok, let's go back to the house hunting part, just in case you didn’t know women are smarter than you know, even if they're blonde!   It’s true men look at the yard, the garage, the basement, that's part of the man castle stuff. We want to cut, saw, fix, build, invent and watch the game with a cool imported beer, with no interruptions, like honey, do I look ok in these slacks?

This has been a true story, because, in the house hunting phase, she knew you admired a great lawn, you wanted that man castle stuff. Even when her eyes glazed over when you talk about that SS Camaro you want to restore in (your) garage. And then as guys show up at the man castle, and you plot, aka, like in the women's restroom, hehe.

They chat do you have to take your wife shopping?  Is your lawn almost impossible to mow, it’s so thick?  Have you heard about this Verticutting thing?
   

And I will say " real men don't shop with their wives " unless you're a saint? Or just bring your copy of 'Atlas Shrugged ' just 1400 pages! It could take that long.
 Now you all think I am a wacko?  Maybe?  Just make your wife happy, and verticutt that lawn.
The caveat, the next time they go to the ladies room, she will tell what a wonderful husband you are!